Why didn't the Nazis use the channel tunnel to invade Britain?

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn) 08/13/2018 at 09:50 • Filed to: None

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Somehow, I got signed up for a daily email from !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , the place you go to find answers to all of life’s nagging questions. Today’s question and answer are both a new low and a new high.

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Why didn’t the Nazis use the channel tunnel to invade Britain?

Answered by: Rob Brownfield, studied at Aberdeen College

Slightly disappointed at some of the answers here.

A few years after the war finished, the BBC did a wonderful documentary on the defence of Britain. It focussed on a specialist unit from a small town called Walmington On Sea. The unit was ably led by a true hero who went by the name of Captain Mainwaring.

Their job was to defend Britain from invasion and to help with this they had contacts at the French end of the tunnel, namely members of the French resistance, who were special agents. Recent unveiling of secret wartime documents have named the special agents. I cannot remember all the names but Rene Artois and his rather beautiful wife, Madame Edith were key to the success of preventing the Germans from using the channel tunnel.

The documents reveal that Madame Edith seduced a German gestapo Officer, Otto Flick, persuading him that the tunnel was completely unguarded and therefore an attack should happen immediately.

The information was passed to a Major General Erik Von Klinkerhoffen who siezed the chance to attack and ordered 10,000 German troops into the tunnel.

However, it was a trap. When the German troops reached the British end of the tunnel, the trap was sprung by Captain Mainwaring and his brave men.

They unleashed a torrent of automatic fire, Grenades and pre-laid explosive charges. However, the charges did not go off. Knowing that the Germans could break through, two brave men stepped forward.

Lance Corporal Jack Jones and Private Charles Godfrey, on hearing the charges had failed to explode, rushed forward through the hail of fire, trying to reach the charges to set them off manually. As the ran forward, Lance Corporal Jones was cut down. Not wanting to leave him behind, Private Godfrey picked Jones up, ran to cover, laid Jones down, signalling back to his unit to get help, picked up his rifle and ran forward once more.

On reaching the charges, Private Godfrey threw himself on top and pulled the pin on a grenade. The explosion set off the charges, killing him, but sealing 10,000 German troops inside the tunnel.

Private Godfrey was awarded a posthumous VC and Lance Corporal Jones the Distinguished Service Cross. Corporal Jones survived his injuries but was later killed in the Falklands conflict.

The tunnel was left sealed until 1994, forgotten and undisturbed, when a group of Scouts, who were on a Duke of Edinburgh’s Gold Award expedition, stumbled across the entrance, hidden by thick brush and drifting sand.

The tunnel was opened and repaired, the bodies of the German Soldiers having first been removed and repatriated to Germany.

itschrome > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 09:57

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is Quora trying to be the new onion?

ttyymmnn > itschrome 08/13/2018 at 09:58

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I have a feeling it was a legit question asked by somebody. 

duurtlang > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 09:58

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If I’m not mistaken this guy used that tunnel quite often, before it was destroyed.

Ash78, voting early and often > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 10:04

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Many people don’t realize that the name “Chunnel” is a portmanteau of CHUD and Tunnel, named in honor of Winston Churchill’s favorite moving picture .

itschrome > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 10:05

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yeah, by me! I’m legit wondering cause I’ve come across there articles before and they were on point. this is 100% onion level.. well done tho!

Ash78, voting early and often > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 10:11

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There are a lot of “reputable” sites these days that have slowly (or suddenly) become completely insane, even though they at one point at least pretended to be legitimate. Off the top of my head:

Quora

Livestrong

Huffington Post

Business Insider (seriously, what the hell happened?)

Buzzfeed

Fox News (makes the TV version seem downright sane)

Cé hé sin > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 10:14

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Are there bonus points for getting all the references?

The unexplained abs ence of the picture of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies and the story of its unexpected and hitherto little known part in the success ful sealing of the tunnel is regretted.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 10:14

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Honestly, what a stupid article.  Why would they use the Chunnel?  You can fly Ryanair from Berlin to London for sooo cheap.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 10:15

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The account is inaccurate. Rene Artois’ “rather beautiful” wife was actually named Perse phone, and I found her picture on Google:

WilliamsSW > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 10:22

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I had never heard of that show before. Now I’m curious to watch it, since I already love British comedy from that era...

Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks > Ash78, voting early and often 08/13/2018 at 10:27

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Add Keybase to that list. Every single one of the ‘recommended’ people when I started up today was literally a Pizzagate Nazi.

Maxima Speed > Ash78, voting early and often 08/13/2018 at 10:29

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Add Washington Post to that list as well.

Cé hé sin > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 08/13/2018 at 10:30

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Not now they’re on strike everywhere you can’t! Invasion by Ryanair would be a logistical nightmare. Half your flights would be cancelled and then you’d either have to rebook for a few days later or take an alternative flight to some place you had not previously planned to invade. Added to that you’d probably be refused compensation for your missed flights and your budget would be out the window.

It’s all moot anyway because you’d have to check in all your equipment and it would end up going to Brisbane instead.

facw > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 10:31

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I’m just annoyed that after we finally had Stack Overflow (and Stack Exchange in general) kick Experts Exchange (and their annoying forced sign in and paid content) to the curb, we’ve somehow had Quora pop up and clutter search listings with the same annoying garbage (while being even more aggressive with email spam) .

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 10:32

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Wow. Someone put some effort into that. 

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Ash78, voting early and often 08/13/2018 at 10:34

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Even the BBC has gotten way more clickbaity.  Hooray for the downfall of the human race!

MonkeePuzzle > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 10:40

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lol at the Dad’s Army references

Ash78, voting early and often > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 08/13/2018 at 10:55

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I used to go ONLY to the BBC for news because it was ad-free (thanks, British taxpayers!) and I found it generally very factual, if predictably left-biased at times. Plus it covered the world pretty well, not just North America or Europe.

facw > Maxima Speed 08/13/2018 at 10:58

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What’s wrong with the Post?

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > ttyymmnn 08/13/2018 at 11:01

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I’m surprised the write-up didn’t mention that this turn of events documented was when Boris Johnson first came up with the idea for Brexit. 

Chinny Raccoon > Ash78, voting early and often 08/13/2018 at 11:05

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Forbes is basically pay to play at this point.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > duurtlang 08/13/2018 at 11:43

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Good Moanin...

duurtlang > WilliamsSW 08/13/2018 at 13:06

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Which one? Dad’s Army or ‘Allo ‘Allo? I watched both and, for some reason, really liked the latter but didn’t quite like the former. English isn’t my first language though and I was born after Dad’s Army had already ended and the pilot of ‘Allo ‘Allo had already been broadcasted, so I probably missed a lot of the jokes.

WilliamsSW > duurtlang 08/13/2018 at 13:18

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I’ve never heard of either- presume the answer was referring to Dad’s Army?

itranthelasttimeiparkedit > Cé hé sin 09/07/2018 at 22:29

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call em out. I could tell some of them were but no idea in reference to what

Cé hé sin > itranthelasttimeiparkedit 09/08/2018 at 06:02

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It’s a mixture of D ad’s Army and Allo Allo, two BBC comedy series set in WW2. Captain Mainw aring, Lance Corporal Jones and Pte Godfrey are Dad’s Army, the others are Allo Allo.